Only the Beginning

2013 is almost over and we finally had some time to reflect on the first year with our little miracle. 

This past year has been more than I could have ever imagined. Watching her grow has been so much fun and seeing J be a daddy has melted my heart.
J and I have also grown a lot. We've had lots of tears, lots of laughs, some not so fun moments and some that we'll cherish forever. Every one of them totally, completely worth it. Everyone gives you advice and tells you stories of things that will happen, but no one can truly prepare you for parenthood. It's the hardest thing we've ever done, but by far, the BEST thing we've ever done. 

When I look back at past blog posts, it seems so long ago that we only dreamed of a baby and here we are, now parents of a happy, healthy, beautiful one-year old daughter. We are truly blessed.

I'm so glad that I decided to start this blog and tell of our journey to parenthood and share the moments that brought us to this point in our lives. It began as a way for me to deal with the emotions and struggles of trying to conceive, to now being a way to share Eva's moments with all of you. Now that Eva is one, our lives are much busier trying to keep up with her and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to keep up with the blog. That was part of my decision to make this our last post. The other part of my decision to end the blog is that I will be publishing this into a book. The book will be a gift to Eva as this is her story, not mine. This is not the end of Eva's story, but the beginning of the amazing life we know she will lead. 

I look forward to the day when J and I can read the book with her and let her know just how special she really is. Our lives have been changed forever. Thank you Miss Eva for being here and being you, we love you more than you will ever know!

Happy First Birthday!

We've been waiting for this day for a whole year! Actually, I think we've been waiting for this day for much longer. Celebrating your child's first birthday is something you dream about. It was no surprise that I was going to go a little overboard, so J just sat back and let me go nuts.
For about the last six months, I had been scanning Pinterest for ideas for her party. I needed a theme! I didn't want to do the normal princess party (lord knows we'll have plenty of those in coming years) but yet I wanted something fun and cute. And we ended up with...Pink Flamingo's! Eva loved it...

I had fun with details from the custom invites, chalkboard sign, pink flamingo cupcakes (that I made from scratch!), her highchair tutu and the two dozen pink flamingo's sprawled out all over the park. Even Eva and I wore pink flamingo's!

We rented a park pavilion in our town so that we could fit everyone and thankfully the weather was perfect to Flamingle!

It was so fun to be able to share this day with everyone; Eva loves seeing her friends and cousins!

We ate some great BBQ that J cooked and then the fun started. Eva had her first cupcake! I thought she would have dug right in, but she was much more curious about it being all over her fingers than actually eating it. She ate all the frosting first before mom took it away, though the sugar high was already inevitable.

Once we cleaned her up, which thankfully didn't take long, it was time for her to open gifts. Well, it was time for me to open her gifts as she was much more interested in walking around and seeing everyone. She got so many great gifts and some very special ones as well. Her great grandfather made her a picnic table; one I know she'll be having many picnics with her friends on.

We can't thank everyone enough for being a part of her big day and we know that those who couldn't make it, were still celebrating with us. We missed you and thank you for the gifts you sent!

We look forward to many more birthday parties, though they might just be a couple of pizzas and an ice cream cake if J has anything to do with it.

Eva's TV Debut

I continue to follow and support Resolve which is a national infertility organization. Their site, Facebook page and community groups were really helpful when we were trying to conceive. I found the support and information that I needed during many steps along the way and it also got me more active in legislation and how I can try to help make a change and difference for the infertility community.
I recently saw one of their Facebook posts, looking for women who did IVF and were located in Minneapolis and Chicago, for a company that has created a product to help couples who are seeking IVF treatments. I sent my information as I'm always willing to share my story if it means it can help someone else. I may not have a lot of money to help, but I have a story!

Shortly after I submitted my information and a brief overview of our story, I was contacted by a woman from the company Unify and we chatted for about a half hour. We discussed my story in more detail and she listened to our struggle to conceive and the hard decision we made to do IVF and then I learned about her company and how they can help other women going through the same thing. Unify has created a few tests that couples can take to identify their success rate if they chose to do IVF. This low-cost test can be the first step a couple can take before making a big financial decision. Although I did not take this test prior to our decision, I was able to testify that this would have been useful for us. They also have a test for those looking at doing another round of IVF and another to help you choose how many embryos to transfer. I recommend taking a look at their site and the products they offer: www.unify.com

After my phone "interview", it was only matter of hours and the next thing I know, I'm in the parking lot at work doing a TV interview that was going to be aired on a local news channel that night! (good thing I washed my hair that day and wore a cute shirt!)
I suppose it was a good thing that I didn't have time to think about it or get nervous. Here is our TV Debut!

Road Rage

I thought temper tantrums weren't supposed to start until they were two? You know, the terrible two's?? (and actually I've heard three is even worse!)  Well not in this house. Miss Eva has already begun with tantrums. So what does mom do? Yep, I get them on video of course and share them with everyone.

She gets really frustrated when she pushes her walker and it gets stuck on furniture. Her Road Rage is already beginning..

11 Months - Dancing Queen

Eva's been exposed to music pretty much since day one. We played classical music to help her sleep, we have jam sessions in the car every day to and from day care, and sing her lullabies every night before bed. We knew she had a love for music and it's really shown through lately. She is also getting very confident and steady on her feet, so we shouldn't have been surprised to see our little Dancing Queen really step out this month...

Miss Eva definitely has the butt-shake mastered; the cutest butt-shake I've ever seen I must add. 

And to mix it up, she also likes to stomp her feet to the beat.

She also has another move where she goes up and down and waves her hand in the air, if only I could have gotten  video of it because it's adorable!

J and I also love music and always have it on at home so we couldn't be happier to see Eva enjoying it just as much! Though Daddy seems to think these adorable moves could haunt him one day when she gets older.

5 Years and 2 Steps

This weekend J and I celebrated our five year anniversary. Five years already!! We had always talked about going back to Jamaica for our five year anniversary but since we decided to put our house on the market, that trip just didn't happen. However, we still celebrated and had a great time!
Eva went to Oma and Papa's for the night and we enjoyed a beautiful Saturday afternoon with cocktails on a patio overlooking the St. Croix River. Then we went back to St. Paul and had a wonderful seafood dinner, listened to some live music and drank more cocktails and enjoyed a full nights sleep in a quiet hotel room....and slept until 9am, which hasn't happened since before Miss Eva was born!
But of course we couldn't wait to pick her up and spend the rest of our Sunday afternoon with her. We were all starving when we got home so J grilled some cheddar brats and I sat on the kitchen floor, picnic style, with Eva and we shared lunch together. She was standing up, all by herself, and I scooted back a little bit and she did it... she took two steps toward me!! J and I could not believe we just witnessed our little girl take her first steps! Of course I got all teary and we smothered her with hugs and kisses...but she just wanted another bite of my brat. One of our biggest fears was that we'd miss the first steps because she'd do them at daycare, so needless to say, we were very proud parents today. We'll see how long it takes for her to do it again, and to really start walking. Our phones will be close by so we can get some video of it next time!

After all that excitement, we played in the pool for a few hours and enjoyed the beautiful summer day. Had barbeque chicken and corn on the cob for dinner and not even an hour later....

Daddy and Eva were wiped out from a big weekend and exciting day. Hope you also enjoyed the weekend and the great weather!

Father's Day Family Getaway

For J's first Father's Day, we headed up to Madden's Resort for a little weekend getaway. His work went last fall, but since it was the week I was due with Eva, J wasn't able to go so they gave him a voucher for us to use later...and later was his first Father's Day weekend! Perfect! It was also our first weekend trip with Miss Eva. If only I had taken a picture of how packed the Yukon was; I'm surprised we didn't have the kitchen sink with us.

We booked a little cabin that faced one of the bays of the lake. It was such a cute cabin, perfect for our little family, and it had a great view. The sunsets were gorgeous!

The first thing we did after we unloaded the truck, was headed down to the lake. It was Eva's first time at a lake (other than when we dipped her toes in Tonka when she was only a few months old), and we weren't sure how she'd like the sand or the waves of the water. However, she was instantly in heaven. She had a blast playing (and trying to eat) the sand and splashing in the water. The lake was still pretty cold but she didn't care one bit! As long as she had her rake in her hand, she was good to go.

 

In fact, she loved that rake so much she brought it to dinner with her.

The next day we took a pontoon ride around the lake. Not only was it our first boat ride of the season, but it was Eva's first ever! She was our little S.S. Cute Stuff. Even in that life jacket she loved the wind in her face.

 The grounds at Madden's were great. They had little paths all over and many times we just walked around with Eva in the stroller, to look around and let her check it out. They had a gift shop, a little market (that even had a nice wine selection for mom!), an art gallery with items from local artists and a cute little ice cream parlor.
 This was a horse carved out of stone outside the art gallery. Looks like Miss Eva may have gotten a love for horses like her momma!

Madden's resort was beautiful and we had a great time. The staff was friendly, the food was excellent and we thoroughly enjoyed our little family getaway. Happy Father's Day J!

Ten Months - Flashback!

The last baby bump picture I took was at 40 weeks. I ended up going another whole week but never took a last picture before Miss Eva arrived. And really, I was HUGE so there was no need for another picture anyways.
Sometimes I look back at the progression of bump pictures and try and remember how it all felt. The first time I felt her move, the hiccups she had every night, and the kicks. Oh the kicks. How I miss those kicks! I'm so glad I was able to experience the miracle of pregnancy and birth. If we hadn't been able to conceive, we still would have adopted in order to have a child, but as a woman, being pregnant is something we all want to experience. It truly is a miracle and the feelings and movements are unexplainable. As much as I loved feeling pregnant, it wasn't easy for me. Between the very swollen ankles and feet and weekly AFib episodes, I was very anxious for her to arrive. That last week of pregnancy seemed like a lifetime!

Now when I think about the last 40 weeks, I cannot believe how much has changed. Not only how much Eva has changed, but also how much our lives have changed. We have this beautiful daughter and she is such a joy in our lives. It's hard to remember this "little" 9lb 11oz baby that we brought home from the hospital and being first time parents and how we would barely get any sleep because we'd just sit and watch her sleep (if only then we knew what we know now!). Our lives are most certainly more full and complete with her in it. And much more busy! We've come a long way and have a long ways to go, but I'm so thankful to have this blog so I can look back all the way to the beginning.

I thought it would be fun to do a little flashback...

Here is my 40 week baby bump...

And here is our 40 week "little" Miss Eva! (how did that ever fit in my belly?!)

Baby Whisperer

As most of you know, sleep has been a rare thing for us over the past, oh, I'd say, nine and a half months :)

As of two weeks ago, Miss Eva had only slept through the night twice. Yes, TWICE.  A good night for us was if she only got up twice. Some nights were good, and others were bad where she would be up every hour and a half or two hours. We tried everything. Room darkening shades, sound machines, warmer pajamas and cooler pajamas, introducing a lovey and turning her ceiling fan on. Nothing really seemed to work. Then she would cut another tooth or learn how to pull herself up, both leading to more sleepless nights. We were used to it by this point and I was pretty sure she would never sleep through the night consistently.

And then I went to Vegas. Turns out J is a Baby Whisperer.

I was a bit worried about my trip and leaving J with Eva. Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome father, but I do most of the night wakings/feedings, so I wasn't sure how he'd handle it on his own. So when I talked to him after his first night and he told me she was up at 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12...I wasn't sure he'd last the weekend (but I also smiled since it was his turn!). And then when I talked to him after the second night and he told me she slept from 8pm to 6am, I was thinking it was a fluke. But it wasn't, she did the same thing the third night I was gone...and has been sleeping through the night for almost two weeks now! There have only been a few nights where she's woken up crying and needed some soothing to go to bed, but now I miss those times so I haven't complained. I'm also aware to be careful what I ask for, so trust me, I don't miss those late night cuddles THAT much. I also hope this post doesn't jinx what we have going on.

I have no idea what he did, but it worked. And I guess I don't really need to know how because if she happens to revert, it looks like I'll need to take another Girls Weekend and head to Vegas and leave J up to his Baby Whisperer magic. And heck, if I had known this, I would've gone three months ago!

Big Helper

It's so nice to have a big helper around the house!

I had a ton of laundry to catch up on this weekend, so it was great to have Miss Eva help me after it was washed, dried and folded in the laundry basket. She didn't quite understand that the laundry needed to stay in the basket...

 

For dinner, J was outside grilling chicken so we were in charge of getting the table ready. Eva chose to grab the salad dressing and barbeque sauce from the fridge, along with the soy sauce, ketchup, chocolate syrup...

And of course my Big Helper was right there after dinner to help with dishes. Every time I loaded something in the dishwasher, she would try and take it out. Needless to say, I spent extra time to hand
wash all the forks and knives...

Even though my "Big Helper" really made more work for me, it was worth it. She is by far, the cutest helper I've ever had and I can't wait for next weekend to see what else she can help me with!

In Memory of Great Grandpa "Papa"

Things have been so busy (and I hate using that excuse), and I never got a chance to write a post when my grandfather passed away on April 9th, only 9 days after we spent Easter with him.
So it was perfect timing this Memorial Day, to say a few words about our Papa.

I've been unbelievably blessed to have had such a wonderful grandfather and known him for 33 years. He was an American hero who served our country in WWII and remained very active in the Legion. We spent time listening to his war stories and were able to capture his memories, stories and mementos in a scrapbook that we will all share for generations to come. Papa was our family patriarch, whom we all respected and looked up to. He was a faithful  Catholic and being able to be with him while he received his last rites and  communion was one of the most incredible memories I'll ever have. I can't even explain how I felt during that moment of true faith. To see someone totally trust in God at one of the most vulnerable moments in life, was very calming. I can only hope to have that deep faith at that point in my life. Papa was also the beloved husband of 67 years to my grandmother, Mimi. He cherished her. More than anything in this world. And the love between them was unmistakable when seeing them hold hands during the last days of his life. 

Missing him doesn't say enough. So grateful he was able to meet and cherish Eva; I used to be so afraid that he'd be gone before I was able to have a child, so knowing he was able to see her many times before he passed, means so much. I look forward to sharing his stories with her.
I'll always love and cherish our memories and never forget my Papa.

Practice!

Eva has taken numerous shopping trips with us, and even more with just mom. Pretty sure she loves shopping, especially Target, but yet, who doesn't?!
She loves to ride in the cart and look around and check things out and she's a great shopping partner. She smiles and giggles, claps her hands when you grab something and put it in the cart, and just when you've spent enough money, she lets you know it's time to go home :)

The other night we were playing before bedtime and this is what she did!

I can't help but laugh and think she's practicing pushing a cart, "Shop til you Drop Mama!".

Not quite her first steps yet, but we're getting close! And before you know it, she'll be asking Daddy for some money and hitting the malls with her girlfriends...

Eight Months....Nine Months...going so fast!

Everyone always told me "it goes so fast" when talking about their babies growing up. I always listened and nodded my head but really had no clue how true it really was...until now.

It seems like the first six months went by quickly, but not anything crazy, and perhaps we were still getting used to our routines so we didn't notice? However, once Eva hit six months old, time started to fly by.

Eva has gone through so many developmental milestones in the last two months and day by day we continue to see more changes and new things that she is doing. We can't keep up! (thus the late blog update)

She went from sitting on her knees....to pulling herself up...

And from doing the army crawl, to crawling on her hands on knees in no-time!

At her 9 month appointment, she weighed 21lbs 4oz (86th percentile) and was 29.5in tall (96th percentile!) Thankfully no shots this time but she did have a finger prick to check her hemoglobin and also to check for lead. A great appointment and so lucky to have a healthy girl!

She also had three more teeth pop through, all on the top and pretty much at the same time. Not a fun week. We continue to give her more and more finger foods and so far she likes all that we've given her, even sauerkraut! (she's her mother's daughter for sure!)

Her curiousity is in full throttle, especially now that she's moving around. We've baby proofed the house but it's funny how she can find all the little things we missed or any little piece of whatever on the ground to put in her mouth. Needless to say, we are a busy household and loving every minute of it. As we speak I can hear a cupboard door opening and closing...I wonder what she's into...

March of Dimes Walk

Last weekend Eva and I participated in the March of Dimes Walk with our mom group!
 

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and we walked around Lake Como with hundreds of other families and their babies, and all for a great cause that we really care about.

There were two babies in our Facebook mom group who were premature, Bode was born 11 weeks early and Ava was born 6 weeks early. We've said many prayers, cheered them on during all their milestones and watched them thrive and grow into happy, healthy soon-to-be One Year olds!
Bode was the first baby from our group of 250 to be born...and Eva was the last :)  We're also lucky enough to have Ava here in Minnesota, so we get to see her on all of our mom group meet-ups!

 (Ava is the second one from the left)

We even had all the babies in matching purple tye dye onesies. Eva is now nicknamed the Princess since she was the only one who refused to sit in the grass...something we're going to have to work on!

Our group of MN moms raised over $500 for the March of Dimes and we look forward to doing it again next year!

Ten Words

I recently was introduced to a new blog that I'm now in love with and added it to my daily list of blogs I read (it's getting big!). He's a local pastor who writes about every day instances that everyone goes through and how a lot of them can relate to our faith.
I really like and respect his blog for not being overbearing and pushing religion, but finding faith within yourself.

He also has posts that seem to relate to me and since this week is Infertility Awareness Week, I had to share a post he wrote last month that can help anyone out there dealing with or supporting someone going through infertility. These Ten Words hit home and although we have our beautiful baby, I know how hard those ten words can be..

http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/26/ten-words-that-describe-infertility/

Welcome Baby Sasha!

I am so excited and happy to announce the arrival of Baby Alexandra Hope "Sasha" to the world! Sasha was born on Tuesday, April 16th and was a healthy 8lbs 3oz!

You may be asking, "Who is this Baby Sasha?"

Sasha is a little miracle baby. Yes, ALL babies truly are miracles, but this one is a bit more special for me and Eva. I met her mother on a milk donation site and you may remember reading our story: Got Milk

Annie is a breast cancer and double mastectomy survivor who never thought she'd be adding a miracle to her family. After being able to breastfeed her three other children, not being able to provide to her new baby was something she struggled with until she found the organization Human Milk 4 Human Babies. We were connected on their Facebook site and able to meet back in February in person; something I will never forget! Although donated breastmilk will never replace being able to breastfeed your own child, I can only hope it will allow Annie connect with her beautiful miracle and help Sasha grow big and strong.

The experience was unforgettful for me and I can't wait to meet this little miracle and kiss those munchkin cheeks! Eva and I will always have a small connection with Sasha and I look forward to watching her grow!

Congrats to the new family!

Easter 2013

The Easter Bunny came to the Barrett house this year!

Okay, so maybe Miss Eva isn't the Easter Bunny, but she sure can crinkle her nose like one!

Our first Easter as a family...it was so much fun! After going to church and strutting her new dress, we hosted an early dinner at our house with Oma and Papa Miller, Grandpa Barrett and Great Grandma and Grandpa Miller.

 
J and I talked about the traditions our families did each Easter; hiding baskets, Easter egg hunts, flying kites, but since Eva is still a bit too little, we thought we'd start our own tradition in the coming years. However, Eva still got a basket with all kinds of goodies including a Grover remote (so she would stop stealing daddy's), puff snacks and fruit, a bunny sippy cup and new frilly socks. I must say, it sure was fun shopping for her basket, and can only imagine how much more fun it will get as she gets older. 

We thoroughly enjoyed watching Eva play with her new goodies and the joy she brought in their faces. He Is Risen Indeed! 

Little Mermaid

Today we had Eva's first swimming lesson! I know, it sounds crazy...swimming lessons for a 7 month old, but we really wanted to do it to make sure she gets used to the water early. She loves bath time but being in a big pool is much different. Plus this was something we could both do together with her and after a long winter, we were looking forward to pretending it was summer by getting in a pool.

 She loved the pool! We were a bit worried as it wasn't as warm as bathwater, but once she was in and moving around, she was having a blast! She was smiling, screaming, splashing and kicking the whole time. The lesson was about 45 minutes and it was about getting her used to the water and trusting us. We had her float on her belly and back, with our support of course, and then we'd raise her in the air and put her back in the water, up and down, and this was definitely her favorite part. The instructor taught us how to get a baby to go underwater (blow on their face and they automatically hold their breath and close their eyes and mouth) so J gave it a try and she looked a bit shocked but not phased by it.

 We just might have a little mermaid on our hands....

Homesick

This week was my first trip away from Eva. I've been away from her for a night here and there, but never more than for one night and never out of state.
I was in Boston for work from Monday afternoon until Thursday afternoon. Three LONG nights. And let me mention I had to fly out on my birthday. And if you didn't already guess, I really like my birthday, so spending it alone at an airport, on a plane and in another state away from my husband and baby was not cool. However, I did get to have a birthday lobster dinner in Boston so that definitely helped.
Tuesday and Tuesday night went by pretty fast; I was really busy with meetings so I didn't miss her as much as I thought I would. And then came Wednesday night. I would've done anything to have gotten home to her. J and I Skyped so I could see her, but not sure if it made it worse to see that chubby little face. As soon as she saw and heard me on J's phone, she got a huge smile on her face, as did I, but she got pretty confused so we didn't chat for long. I didn't want her to get upset knowing it was close to her bedtime. So I had another glass of wine to ensure I'd sleep good. I needed Thursday to get here!
My flight on Thursday was at 2:28pm (Eastern) and I was standing at the gate, ready to board for over a half hour because the flight coming in was a bit late. Thankfully the flight went by fast and we weren't delayed at all coming back because I was determined to make it home before Miss Eva went to bed. I HAD to see her little face! We landed at 4:30pm and I was in my car by 5pm. Let's just say I pretty much ran from the gate to my car.

After sitting in 45 minutes of rush hour traffic, I pulled into the drive and got into the house as fast as I could..and there waiting for me was the biggest smile ever. Man oh man did I miss her! After tackling her and smothering her with kisses for about 10 minutes, I finally turned to J and said "Oh Hi!" Poor guy, I pretty much pushed him out of the way to get my hands on Eva.

Momma and baby reunion pic! (sorry for the bad quality..bad lighting)

I gave her a bath and rocked her to sleep and I myself slept better than I had all week. Funny how you think you'll sleep really good when you're away from home and don't have to get up in the middle of the night, but it's really not the case. I apparently sleep better at home when I get up once or twice for feedings (sshh! don't tell Eva that!)
I also got up a half hour early on Friday morning, sneaked into her nursery and scooped her up and rocked her while she slept for about twenty minutes. I had to soak her up to make up for lost time! Momma was homesick!

Lucky Charm

When I was a child, my mother used to tell me that I was left by the leprechauns for her. You see, my birthday is the day after St. Patrick's Day. She said I would get sad and upset and ask her why they would leave me and didn't want me?? Of course she was trying to be sweet; I was her lucky charm! And now I have one!

I celebrate my birthday all month long (something I'll have to teach Eva), and I especially like to celebrate on St. Patrick's Day. This year J and I decided to go out and Eva could have her first overnight at Oma and Papa's (my parents). Not sure who was more excited...but pretty sure it was Oma and Papa. We had a blast with friends and as much as we tried to sleep in knowing we could, we were up right at 6am...eager to see our little leprechaun!

Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us have a night out! As you can see by the picture, we had a great time!

Seven Months: We Be Rockin'

Eva is growing like crazy! She is well into her 9 month clothes and the pants already seem short; she's going to have long legs like her momma I think. I feel like this last month has been one of her biggest months in milestones. Every few days we notice she's doing something new, discovering something else and surprising us by her development. She has started clapping her hands, is able to put her grab her pacifier and put it in her mouth by herself (huge win!) and can completely sit on her own with no support. Her smile and giggle are infectious. We just cannot get enough.

We are getting closer and closer to crawling...and not sure if this is a good thing or not yet. She gets on her belly, then pulls her knees under her and rocks....and rocks...and rocks. But then she's stuck.

We have no doubt what is coming next....cats beware!

Got Milk

When I reflect back on my whole journey of Motherhood...where I am now and where I was three years ago, I'm overwhelmed with feelings. Feelings of accomplishment, feelings of happiness and most importantly, feelings of gratitude. I'm truly blessed to be sitting here with a happy, healthy, almost 7 month old little girl.

We didn't have it easy but we also had some great things happen.
We struggled with infertility for years and went through alot of disappointing cycles, failed inseminations and no answers. When we took a big chance with IVF, we got lucky and were able to conceive after our first cycle. That's when we thought things would be in our favor. However, my pregnancy wasn't easy either. Shortly after my 6th month, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and struggled with afib episodes weekly the rest of my pregnancy. It was not fun and I was constantly worried about my heart and the growing baby inside of me. But when I went into labor and delivered Eva, everything went smoothly and I couldn't have asked for a better birthing experience.

We've been fortunate that Miss Eva has been a great baby. Some mothers conceive naturally and easily,  and some mothers have an uneventful pregnancy. What I have is milk. And lots of it. 

Breastfeeding didn't go easy for me and Eva in the beginning and after struggling for two weeks with many tears, I decided to exclusively pump. That was a very hard decision at the time, but in the end, Eva was still getting my breastmilk and that was the most important thing to us. I think since I started pumping so soon, when my milk came in...it came in. I had alot of it. I was pumping two to three times more than Eva was taking at the time, so I started freezing all the extra. When Eva was two months old, we had to buy a chest freezer to store the extra frozen milk because our freezer was full! I admit, I became a little obsessed with my "stash". I pumped every four hours, almost religiously, even up once or twice a night pumping. I would even. feel a little panicky when I didn't freeze as much as the day before.
Fast forward to when Eva is 6 months old and I have a freezer in our garage with 700 ounces of frozen breastmilk. I came across a page on Facebook that connected women needing donated breastmilk and woman who had some to give.  I came across a woman named Annie, who was a breast cancer survivor and had a double mastectomy. She never thought she'd be able to have kids again and when she found out she was pregnant, she was heartbroken that she'd be unable to breastfeed  Her story touched me as my mother and mother-in-law are both breast cancer survivors and I had a freezer full of breastmilk just sitting there. This was an easy decision.

Today Eva and I met Annie!

I donated 300 ounces of "liquid gold" to Annie..it was an armful!!

We were able to sit and sip on lemonades and chat about Motherhood, the struggles we had to get here and how grateful we both are for where we are today. I saw the tears of gratitude in Annie's eyes as she thanked me for my donated milk and really, I was grateful for her and her strength and letting me do something to help her. I have never felt more selfless and content with a decision. I look forward to keeping up with her "Baby Lucky", who is due mid-April.

I encourage anyone who has been as lucky as me with a large milk supply, to donate. There are many resources out there including Eats on Feets (www.eatsonfeets.org) and Human Milk 4 Human Babies (http://hm4hb.net/index.html)

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