You can help!

Many of my friends and family ask me how they can help. Of course all the emotional support I've gotten has been truly amazing - I am so lucky! - but here's another way that everyone can easily help.

Most insurance companies don't cover fertility treatment costs and trust me, it can get very expensive. The last thing a couple who is trying to conceive needs, is the financial stress of trying to pay for treatment. Although we have been lucky to have good jobs and are making it work, there are so many other couples out there, struggling with infertility who don't have the means to pay for treatment. We've had to make some big decisions and sacrifices in order to pursue fertility treatment and it has been very frustrating.
I don't wish this upon anyone and am trying to be an advocate for the infertility community. We need to get the government and insurance companies to hear our voices. I was not as lucky as most of you, being able to conceive and birth a healthy baby and this was not something I asked for. It's a true medical condition and should be treated as such by insurance companies.

I've added my signature to the letter below, presented by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association (www.resolve.org). I believe people with infertility matter and I want to ensure that infertility treatment is considered an essential health benefit. I stress you to take three minutes out of your day to click the link and sign the letter. This support means a lot to everyone dealing with infertility.

Essential Health Benefits Letter

THANK YOU!

Magnet Fun

I love fun little finds and this one is just so fitting that I had to order one. If only it wasn't just a magnet as I'd love to just flash this the next time I hear "You don't have any children?!" or "When are you having kids??"

In case anyone else wants one: Magnet Fun - Forgot to have children

Decisions..

Last week we had two appointments. Monday we met with IVF Clinic #2 for a consult; to get an idea of their process, their program and to get a feel for the doctor. Although the clinic was very professional and the Dr. was really nice and knowledgeable, it all comes down to cost and the warranty programs each clinic offer. The first clinic, where I attended their IVF seminar earlier this month, has by far the best process and the best warranty program, so we'll be going with them. 

Exciting!, right? Well..not so fast. I came across another option that I needed to check out first, before we take the big leap with IVF.

I came across someone who went to a Chinese wellness clinic when she was having problems getting pregnant. She met with one of the clinic's doctors, who is trained in China and atop of her medical degree, was also a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist. During her consult and following appointments, the Chinese doctor found an imbalance and put her on a treatment plan of acupuncture twice a week, herbal supplements and some dietary changes. The dietary changes are what's interesting. She had to eat specific mushrooms each day and also eat three green apples a day; her body was missing specific nutrients and this would help get her back in balance. Like most Chinese medicine, it can take three to six months to get your body fully balanced, but after just five weeks, she was pregnant and carried to term and birthed a healthy baby!

As you probably know by now, I'm a big believer in natural healing, especially acupuncture and its affect on fertility and fertility treatments, so I had to check this out for myself. Could it be this easy?? Could I save myself the stress and expense of IVF and get pregnant naturally??

I checked out their website to make sure they were legit and was impressed by the information and knowledge this team of Chinese doctors had, so I made an appointment and met with them on Thursday.

The doctor I met with specifically deals with infertility and since she had a medical degree, she understood all the testing, medications and treatments that we'd already done up to this point. After hearing her background and the success they've had treating infertility, I was feeling good about this but was taken aback when she said I was her youngest patient at this clinic (they have five locations). She said she treats mostly women in their late 30's and more in their 40's and alot of them have done IVF without success. She even had a patient that was 46 and now pregnant! She understood my frustration of "unexplained infertility" and reassured me how common it was. She was totally confident she could help me so we discussed a treatment plan.

She told me to read a book “Fertility and Diet” since your diet can greatly affect your fertility. I've actually read about this already in another book, but was willing to do more research to find the right diet to maximize fertility. (pretty sure I'd do anything to increase fertility at this point!) She also told me to eat more fiber and veggies but didn't suggest any crazy dietary changes like I had heard, but every body is different.

She also recommended acupuncture sessions twice a week and herbal tea twice a day. Although there are herbal supplements, she preferred to make a mix of the herbs depending on my cycle and I would steep the herbs and make my own tea. However, this would be more expensive, but more potent and specific to my body and my cycle...oh, and she warned me that it would taste horrible. Lovely. So I thought maybe this would be okay...maybe this wouldn't be so bad....

She got the herbs together for my tea and was instructing me on how to steep the tea for my four day supply. Wait, only a FOUR day supply? Let's just say the herbs weren't cheap and when I started to add up the acupuncture sessions and the tea and the time commitment, was I really willing to do this? Was I willing to put everything on hold again for the next three months in the HOPE that this would work? The answer is no, no I wasn't. 

It's just too late. We've come so far in our treatments and felt we were finally getting closer to a solution and I just can't put everything on hold again. My patience has run out and I don't think I could do this to the full extent that I need to really make it work. If I had found this clinic in the beginning, for sure I would've done this before starting Western treatments, but for now, IVF is our next step. 

I'm really glad I researched this other option...cause I know that if for SOME reason, IVF doesn't work for us, that there is another option. I would be able to fully commit myself to making this treatment work. But...I don't think that I'll have to drink nasty tea every day. Our decision is made and it WILL work!

Passion vs. Obsession

 pas·sion  (pshn)n.

1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.

2. Ardent love.

3.The object of such love or desire or enthusiasm.

ob·ses·sion  (b-sshn, b-)n.

1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.

2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

Passion and obsession are two very different things by definition, although sometimes they can feel the same and it may seem hard to differentiate between the two. I also feel as though one can lead to the other and vice versa; myself being a perfect example of that.

Two years ago when we started this journey, I didn't think twice or worry about what was going to lie ahead for us. Of course I didn't really think it would happen the first month or anything, but I never thought we'd be here, two years later, still facing infertility, and without a happy, healthy, beautiful baby in our arms.

When first starting fertility treatments, I put my faith in what we were doing would work and after month after month of disappointment and heartache, I began to obsess. Part of that came from the research I had been doing on treatments and natural ways at making my body more fertile and the other part of it was my longing to make this work. It consumed my every day life. This was not a good thing and it made me feel worse and less hopeful. I couldn't figure out how to turn this obsession into something positive and helpful. It was like the more I learned and the more involved in the process I became...the worse off I was.

Somewhere along the way, I learned to let go a little bit and things got easier. I believe my weekly acupuncture treatments were a big part of this, they really helped me find my inner-self again. I also had to make the conscious decision to no longer obsess. I stopped spending so much time researching and finding information online and put all my fertility books away. I realized that I was already doing everything I could to make this work and although I wanted answers, obsessing wouldn't give those to me. I took those negative obsessive feelings and made them positive...made them passionate.

Being able to share my journey on here with all of you has been a blessing in disguise. It made me realize I'm no longer obsessed, but just passionate about my life and more importantly, the future of my family. The emotion I feel and the emotion I share with you is very real and very strong. My longing for a family has not diminished, but it no longer rules my life. I will continue on this journey and keep my passion alive because I know it will bring us a happy ending.

And thanks to a certain someone who recognized my passion and truly helped me come to terms with it. Sometimes its harder to see it in yourself and I'm lucky to have people in my life to make me realize differently.

Information Overload!

Last night I attended an IVF seminar at one of the clinics we're "interviewing". Being in Woodbury on a school night, Jason wasn't able to attend so my mom went with me; actually a perfect opportunity for her to gain more knowledge on what is to come...I'm definitely going to need her more during this!

Learning more about the process, the meds, the procedures, the risks and the costs...it was pretty overwhelming but so very helpful. It's unbelievable the technology they have to make this happen. The fact that they can extract your eggs from your ovaries and then take a single egg and a single sperm and inject it into one of your eggs is just amazing. I think if I were to go back and change careers, Science may have been a good one. Lord knows I know enough about fertility now and I could probably pass half the tests without taking one course. Hmm...Dr. Gretchen Barrett, MD, Embryologist - has a nice ring to it :)

My fears of the unknown have subsided a bit. Of course there is still much more detail as to my specific plan once we decide on a clinic and start the process. But at least now I know the drugs so I can research the effects, and I know the statistics of success and multiples, and I also how they retrieve the eggs, fertilize the eggs and freeze the embryos. It's like a little baby factory and I can't wait to be the next customer!

I am much more confident and maybe even a little bit more anxious to start. We have an appointment with another clinic in two weeks and after that, I think we'll be ready to make our decision on which clinic to go with.

One step closer....

Red Carpet Debut!

Here it is. My blog.
 I never really thought I’d ever be a blogger, and by no means, did I ever think I would be blogging about my journey to reach motherhood and the struggle it has been....and continues to be.

Until now, I’ve shared my journey and experiences with some family and close friends and they have been my shoulder to cry on, my cheerleading team and my sense and reason when mine has run out. But due to recent changes, I’ve decided to open it up further. I need to express my feelings, the good and the bad, and I need the support. I should have done this earlier, but am glad I can now share our journey with you and can only hope I am able to help someone else going through a difficult time.

It may be best to start from my first post to understand where we are now. We began our journey quite a long time ago, alot has happened and there is more to come.  

Enjoy!

And a big thanks to a certain "Fertility Friend" - you  know who you are! - for the inspiration and motivation to do this. Although I hardly know you, you are already dear to me and am glad we have each other for support.