New Years Eve is always a time for reflection on the last year, as well as thinking of all the hopes and dreams for the coming new year. For many, this is a happy time of the year, to appreciate and celebrate all the great things that they did or accomplished throughout the year, but for many, looking back can be painful and bring back many feelings and memories they'd wish to forget. This year, we move forward; no looking back!
J and I have come SO far in the last year, going through three fertility clinics, six (unsuccessful) inseminations, and ten disappointing, heartbreaking negatives. Instead of looking back with distasteful feelings, I look back with a smile. Through all the bad times, we also had one very good time that trumps it all. One very successful IVF cycle. And for that, 2011 was a GREAT year! We also discovered the strength and love in each other and our family and friends; I wouldn't take that back for anything!
A few things I learned in 2011:
- You can't plan for everything in life
- Never underestimate the power of love and friendship
- Don't judge someone; you have no idea what may be going in their life behind the scenes
- Patience is the greatest virtue
- Never. Give. Up.
I hope all of you can reflect on 2011 and look past all the bad things that may have happened and look deeper. Going through hard times do teach us things and make us better people. Unfortunately, it's never easy, but does and will pay off. Good things happen to good people.
So it's time to say goodbye to 2011, a year of lessons, hardships and many memories and time to embrace the coming new year. A new year of more lessons, some hardships and many memories, good and bad to come. Bring it!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Best. Christmas. Ever.
Everyone has a Christmas they'll never forget. It might have been when you were 7 years old when you got your first Cabbage Patch doll or when you were 15 and got your own phone in your room or even your first diamond necklace from your fiance. I had many Christmas' growing up that will always stick in my mind, but this year, Christmas was unforgettable.
J and I have been through ALOT the last few years, but it's definitely brought us closer than ever and a stronger couple. I have no doubt we could get through anything. Since we weren't sure when we'd have time to be alone over the holiday weekend, we cheated and opened our presents on Thursday night. I was glowing when he handed me a velvet box. And inside, a journey pendant; representing all that we've been through..and better yet, what's to come! I love him.
We had our Christmas wish and it was granted a month earlier with our positive pregnancy result. However, we couldn't tell anyone until now and it was really hard! Our Christmas cards went out after our 8 week appointment when we saw the heartbeat for the second time, but the cards didn't make it to the Miller family. They had to wait until Christmas Eve when we could break the news to them in person.
My mother announced we'd open presents before dinner and of course everyone was like "why are we opening presents now?!" So the last present to be opened was for my grandparents from J and I. It was a picture frame that said Great Grandparents. My grandmother opened it and she was a bit confused, but my aunts and cousins definitely were not. It took a few minutes to set in and then the screams, the tears and the jumping up and down started! The reaction on my family's faces was unforgettable. The joy in their tears was so very touching. And the love I felt from them....I can't wait for Baby Barrett to be a part of that.
I am so very blessed this Christmas and love my family and friends more than ever!
J and I have been through ALOT the last few years, but it's definitely brought us closer than ever and a stronger couple. I have no doubt we could get through anything. Since we weren't sure when we'd have time to be alone over the holiday weekend, we cheated and opened our presents on Thursday night. I was glowing when he handed me a velvet box. And inside, a journey pendant; representing all that we've been through..and better yet, what's to come! I love him.
We had our Christmas wish and it was granted a month earlier with our positive pregnancy result. However, we couldn't tell anyone until now and it was really hard! Our Christmas cards went out after our 8 week appointment when we saw the heartbeat for the second time, but the cards didn't make it to the Miller family. They had to wait until Christmas Eve when we could break the news to them in person.
My mother announced we'd open presents before dinner and of course everyone was like "why are we opening presents now?!" So the last present to be opened was for my grandparents from J and I. It was a picture frame that said Great Grandparents. My grandmother opened it and she was a bit confused, but my aunts and cousins definitely were not. It took a few minutes to set in and then the screams, the tears and the jumping up and down started! The reaction on my family's faces was unforgettable. The joy in their tears was so very touching. And the love I felt from them....I can't wait for Baby Barrett to be a part of that.
I am so very blessed this Christmas and love my family and friends more than ever!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Week 8: Graduation!
Monday, December 19th
J and I had our second ultrasound this morning and I'm officially 8 weeks. Only 32 to go! Baby Barrett measured 1.5 cm and had a heart rate of 164 bpm, right on track! Our cute little blob is now much bigger. We were glued to the screen seeing our little "gummy bear" in there. It's starting to feel more real now.
We also met with our Dr. again and he gladly said everything looked perfect. Our miscarriage rate is below 3% and he said this appointment can be considered just like our 12 week "all clear". With our five frozen embryos, he said "we're set for life" and although we hope to naturally get pregnant in the future, we know we have beautiful embryos ready at anytime to grow our family. We feel so very lucky to know that our future journey will never be as difficult as it was to get here and for that, we are so very thankful.
Today we also officially graduated from our fertility clinic. Whoo hoo!! This feels just as good as my college graduation day, just in a slightly different way :)
After all that we've been through (including three fertility clinics), it was always so hard to envision this day, this step in our journey. The thought of never stepping in another fertility again (hopefully) is so unbelievably exciting. However, it was also bittersweet. We loved our IVF clinic, the nurses, our Dr and wish they would be there for the rest of the pregnancy. However, we know that they specialize in one thing, getting women pregnant!, so it's best they stick to that and help all the other women who are still awaiting for their miracle. I have no doubt they'll do everything in their power to try and make those dreams come true. They sure did for us!
Next appointment is with my OB next week. I wonder if my OB remembers who I am? It's been over two years since we last met and discussed our next options for getting pregnant. I hope she has alot of time, there's a lot to tell!
J and I had our second ultrasound this morning and I'm officially 8 weeks. Only 32 to go! Baby Barrett measured 1.5 cm and had a heart rate of 164 bpm, right on track! Our cute little blob is now much bigger. We were glued to the screen seeing our little "gummy bear" in there. It's starting to feel more real now.
We also met with our Dr. again and he gladly said everything looked perfect. Our miscarriage rate is below 3% and he said this appointment can be considered just like our 12 week "all clear". With our five frozen embryos, he said "we're set for life" and although we hope to naturally get pregnant in the future, we know we have beautiful embryos ready at anytime to grow our family. We feel so very lucky to know that our future journey will never be as difficult as it was to get here and for that, we are so very thankful.
Today we also officially graduated from our fertility clinic. Whoo hoo!! This feels just as good as my college graduation day, just in a slightly different way :)
After all that we've been through (including three fertility clinics), it was always so hard to envision this day, this step in our journey. The thought of never stepping in another fertility again (hopefully) is so unbelievably exciting. However, it was also bittersweet. We loved our IVF clinic, the nurses, our Dr and wish they would be there for the rest of the pregnancy. However, we know that they specialize in one thing, getting women pregnant!, so it's best they stick to that and help all the other women who are still awaiting for their miracle. I have no doubt they'll do everything in their power to try and make those dreams come true. They sure did for us!
Next appointment is with my OB next week. I wonder if my OB remembers who I am? It's been over two years since we last met and discussed our next options for getting pregnant. I hope she has alot of time, there's a lot to tell!
Week 6: First Ultrasound
Wednesday, December 7th
Today we got to see the little heartbeat! There's definitely a baby in there with a strong little heartbeat..yeah!!! Baby Barrett measured 0.625cm with a heartbeat of 127bpm - all is perfect for 6 weeks! It's not much to look at, kind of a blob, but still a perfect blob to me - I'm already envisioning our beautiful, healthy baby.
It's amazing something so tiny has a heartbeat. Four weeks ago it was just a clump of cells in a petri dish, waiting for my warm belly and now it has a heartbeat - truly a miracle!
I feel really good and consider myself very lucky. Other than sore breasts and being really tired, it doesn't seem that I'm truly pregnant! And you won't hear me complaining about much, it took so much to get here that I'll embrace every symptom and every step of the way and truly enjoy this pregnancy. You can hold me to it!
We come back in two weeks for another ultrasound before we move on from fertility to OB. Can't wait to see the little guy/gal again!
Today we got to see the little heartbeat! There's definitely a baby in there with a strong little heartbeat..yeah!!! Baby Barrett measured 0.625cm with a heartbeat of 127bpm - all is perfect for 6 weeks! It's not much to look at, kind of a blob, but still a perfect blob to me - I'm already envisioning our beautiful, healthy baby.
It's amazing something so tiny has a heartbeat. Four weeks ago it was just a clump of cells in a petri dish, waiting for my warm belly and now it has a heartbeat - truly a miracle!
I feel really good and consider myself very lucky. Other than sore breasts and being really tired, it doesn't seem that I'm truly pregnant! And you won't hear me complaining about much, it took so much to get here that I'll embrace every symptom and every step of the way and truly enjoy this pregnancy. You can hold me to it!
We come back in two weeks for another ultrasound before we move on from fertility to OB. Can't wait to see the little guy/gal again!
Confirmation
Wednesday, November 23rd
Today it was confirmed. I'M REALLY PREGNANT!!! YEEAAHH!!!
Of course I didn't get the call until 2:15 pm, making it a long day, but it was definitely worth the wait to hear the nurse tell me "Congratulations, your due date is July 31st!"
My first beta was 215.2 and my second was 608.8 - the numbers are great! I'll have my first ultrasound in two weeks and at that time, we'll get to hear the heartbeat and get our "all-clear" to switch back to our OB/GYN clinic.
So for now, the tears keep coming and the contentment in life keeps growing. Is this really happening?! Will I ever stop crying?!
Today it was confirmed. I'M REALLY PREGNANT!!! YEEAAHH!!!
Of course I didn't get the call until 2:15 pm, making it a long day, but it was definitely worth the wait to hear the nurse tell me "Congratulations, your due date is July 31st!"
My first beta was 215.2 and my second was 608.8 - the numbers are great! I'll have my first ultrasound in two weeks and at that time, we'll get to hear the heartbeat and get our "all-clear" to switch back to our OB/GYN clinic.
So for now, the tears keep coming and the contentment in life keeps growing. Is this really happening?! Will I ever stop crying?!
D-Day: The Results
Tuesday, November 22nd
It's been a week and a half since the transfer and thankfully we've been really busy so the time has gone by pretty fast. I was traveling in Seattle for work last week, and then J's uncle passed so we spent a lot of time with family over the course of the weekend, and our minds and hearts were with them.
Yesterday was my first appointment for bloodwork to get my first beta. They measure my levels of hcG, which is the "pregnancy hormone" but won't tell me anything until my second beta on Wednesday. This way they can measure the levels again and confirm they are doubling as they should and that I am truly pregnant or not. If my levels aren't doubling, it could be a chemical pregnancy.
This morning I made the decision to "cheat" and take a home test. I was dying to know and even though I would find out tomorrow, I couldn't wait. I woke up before my alarm and didn't hesitate to get out of bed. I turned on the shower, and before I jumped in, I peed on the stick. I set it on the toilet seat and got in the shower and just stood there in the water...heart pounding...and not sure what to do. Do I look at it? What's it going to say? Can I handle the disappointment? I couldn't avoid it so I peeked out the shower and stared at the test....
I immediately lost control. OH MY GAWD!! I'm PREGNANT!!! I was bent over in the shower, could barely hold myself up and was hysterically bawling. I just kept saying over and over, "Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God." I will NEVER forget this moment.
I barely got myself together to finish my shower and then got ready while I waited for J to come down to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and I looked at him and pointed at the test. He said "I told you not to take a test!" (he didn't want me to take a home test incase it was wrong). I told him I couldn't wait and he said "Well, what did it say?!" I told him to look at it and the look on his face was priceless. His first response was "Oh My Gawd! How accurate are these?" I assured him 99.9% and he was too happy to even say another word.
I know I have my second beta tomorrow, but I already know the results :) Now I have to hold it together and keep it a secret when all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops!! I'm pregnant!!!!!
It's been a week and a half since the transfer and thankfully we've been really busy so the time has gone by pretty fast. I was traveling in Seattle for work last week, and then J's uncle passed so we spent a lot of time with family over the course of the weekend, and our minds and hearts were with them.
Yesterday was my first appointment for bloodwork to get my first beta. They measure my levels of hcG, which is the "pregnancy hormone" but won't tell me anything until my second beta on Wednesday. This way they can measure the levels again and confirm they are doubling as they should and that I am truly pregnant or not. If my levels aren't doubling, it could be a chemical pregnancy.
This morning I made the decision to "cheat" and take a home test. I was dying to know and even though I would find out tomorrow, I couldn't wait. I woke up before my alarm and didn't hesitate to get out of bed. I turned on the shower, and before I jumped in, I peed on the stick. I set it on the toilet seat and got in the shower and just stood there in the water...heart pounding...and not sure what to do. Do I look at it? What's it going to say? Can I handle the disappointment? I couldn't avoid it so I peeked out the shower and stared at the test....
I immediately lost control. OH MY GAWD!! I'm PREGNANT!!! I was bent over in the shower, could barely hold myself up and was hysterically bawling. I just kept saying over and over, "Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God." I will NEVER forget this moment.
I barely got myself together to finish my shower and then got ready while I waited for J to come down to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and I looked at him and pointed at the test. He said "I told you not to take a test!" (he didn't want me to take a home test incase it was wrong). I told him I couldn't wait and he said "Well, what did it say?!" I told him to look at it and the look on his face was priceless. His first response was "Oh My Gawd! How accurate are these?" I assured him 99.9% and he was too happy to even say another word.
I know I have my second beta tomorrow, but I already know the results :) Now I have to hold it together and keep it a secret when all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops!! I'm pregnant!!!!!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Time to Relax
November 12-13th
Bed rest for two days?! What a great excuse to get caught up in girlie movies, let the laundry and cleaning sit there with no guilt and really just relax and enjoy the weekend. Well, that's what I thought it would be like, but it really wasn't that easy. I'm definitely not used to being lazy and being forced to lay in bed all day.
Thank you to some great coworkers who gave me a nice little bedrest gift bag filled with some gossip mags, popcorn, chocolate cookies and a bottle of alcohol-free wine.
And thanks to another girlfriend who came to hang out with me for a few hours. It was a nice distraction and I got to introduce her to Season 1 of Modern Family - love that show!
Most importantly, I have to thank my awesome husband. He was so patient with me and got me anything I needed and even if he was annoyed, he hid it well. But I know he can't wait for Monday when I'm back on my feet and no longer at his beck and call.
I knew the importance of taking it easy and keeping my body as relaxed as possible so I did it with as few complaints as I could, but I can't wait to get out of the house on Monday morning and go to work! (I bet you'll never hear me say that again!)
Now we just need to get through another week and a half before we know if our dreams will come true! Good thing I have a work trip next week, that should help make time go by faster and keep my mind busy.
Keep the prayers coming!!!
Bed rest for two days?! What a great excuse to get caught up in girlie movies, let the laundry and cleaning sit there with no guilt and really just relax and enjoy the weekend. Well, that's what I thought it would be like, but it really wasn't that easy. I'm definitely not used to being lazy and being forced to lay in bed all day.
Thank you to some great coworkers who gave me a nice little bedrest gift bag filled with some gossip mags, popcorn, chocolate cookies and a bottle of alcohol-free wine.
And thanks to another girlfriend who came to hang out with me for a few hours. It was a nice distraction and I got to introduce her to Season 1 of Modern Family - love that show!
Most importantly, I have to thank my awesome husband. He was so patient with me and got me anything I needed and even if he was annoyed, he hid it well. But I know he can't wait for Monday when I'm back on my feet and no longer at his beck and call.
I knew the importance of taking it easy and keeping my body as relaxed as possible so I did it with as few complaints as I could, but I can't wait to get out of the house on Monday morning and go to work! (I bet you'll never hear me say that again!)
Now we just need to get through another week and a half before we know if our dreams will come true! Good thing I have a work trip next week, that should help make time go by faster and keep my mind busy.
Keep the prayers coming!!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Transfer Day
Saturday, November 12th
The Big Day. Transfer Day!!!
Once the follicles (eggs) are taken on retrieval day, they are also fertilized the same day. Then they are closely monitored to watch their growth and development to determine their quality. It's common to lose a few during this process or for some not to make it past fertilization, so it's always good when they get many follicles during retrieval, however, it's about quality, not quantity. After monitoring the embryos for a few days, transfer day is then determined. They can do either a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer and it all depends on how many embryos you have and what quality they are.
On Thursday we got the news from the clinic that our transfer would be today, Day 5. This was already a good sign for us as it meant:
a) we had enough embryos to "risk" letting them mature to Day 5
b) the embryos were strong enough to make it to Day 5 and thus, be more mature and ready for implantation
We met with the embryologist first and that's when we learned that they had taken 8 eggs during retrieval and 7 made it through fertilization. We'd be transferring one embryo today, which had a quality of 1.5 (on a scale of 1 being high quality to 3 being low). We also had another really strong embryo that would be frozen today and the others would be monitored another day to determine which would be strong enough to freeze.
And then he handed us a picture of our embryo. Could this be our baby's first picture?! It doesn't look like much, but it's amazing that this bundle of cells could be our future child!!
You can also see it's started "hatching", which is perfect for transfer as it's getting ready to implant!
The transfer was quick and easy. Although I'd had 6 prior inseminations, this was so different knowing that we had an actual embryo now inside of me. Before we left the clinic, they gave us an ultrasound pic of where the embryo was implanted. You can see a little "+" of where they put it, and the small oblong area is the uterus.
Now it's time to go home and rest and relax. I'll be on complete bed rest for two days and we don't have our bloodwork for another week and a half, so really hoping I can keep my mind occupied and the time goes fast. It's hard not to think about everything when you are just lying around all day! But we had seen this embryo and now are totally focused on keeping it alive. A weekend of relaxation is nothing if it will help make our dreams come true!
The Big Day. Transfer Day!!!
Once the follicles (eggs) are taken on retrieval day, they are also fertilized the same day. Then they are closely monitored to watch their growth and development to determine their quality. It's common to lose a few during this process or for some not to make it past fertilization, so it's always good when they get many follicles during retrieval, however, it's about quality, not quantity. After monitoring the embryos for a few days, transfer day is then determined. They can do either a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer and it all depends on how many embryos you have and what quality they are.
On Thursday we got the news from the clinic that our transfer would be today, Day 5. This was already a good sign for us as it meant:
a) we had enough embryos to "risk" letting them mature to Day 5
b) the embryos were strong enough to make it to Day 5 and thus, be more mature and ready for implantation
We met with the embryologist first and that's when we learned that they had taken 8 eggs during retrieval and 7 made it through fertilization. We'd be transferring one embryo today, which had a quality of 1.5 (on a scale of 1 being high quality to 3 being low). We also had another really strong embryo that would be frozen today and the others would be monitored another day to determine which would be strong enough to freeze.
And then he handed us a picture of our embryo. Could this be our baby's first picture?! It doesn't look like much, but it's amazing that this bundle of cells could be our future child!!
You can also see it's started "hatching", which is perfect for transfer as it's getting ready to implant!
The transfer was quick and easy. Although I'd had 6 prior inseminations, this was so different knowing that we had an actual embryo now inside of me. Before we left the clinic, they gave us an ultrasound pic of where the embryo was implanted. You can see a little "+" of where they put it, and the small oblong area is the uterus.
Now it's time to go home and rest and relax. I'll be on complete bed rest for two days and we don't have our bloodwork for another week and a half, so really hoping I can keep my mind occupied and the time goes fast. It's hard not to think about everything when you are just lying around all day! But we had seen this embryo and now are totally focused on keeping it alive. A weekend of relaxation is nothing if it will help make our dreams come true!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Retrieval Day
Monday, Nov 7th
Retrieval Day!! A bit scared, anxious, nervous and definitely excited as this is one step closer!
The hardest part is the lack of food and water. Since I'll be under anesthesia, I couldn't eat/drink after midnight. No fun. There were five retrievals today, including mine, so the clinic was definitely busy. However, I love the staff and they made me feel totally comfortable and as relaxed as possible. The anesthesiologist was the nicest woman and we had a fun little chat. She reviewed what meds I'd be having for my "little nap" and one of them was Propofol, which I'm sure you've all heard of since that was the drug that killed Michael Jackson. So I had to ask the nurse if she got questioned by other patients about using that drug and of course she did. So we chatted about how unethical it was for someone to be treating Jackson with such a strong drug outside of a clinic setting and constant monitoring. I knew I was in good hands so didn't bother me in the least what she was giving me. Plus I was starting to get a bit nervous, so perfect timing for a drug-induced nap.
For a refresher, the retrieval is when they go in through the vaginal wall and then go into the ovary with a tiny needle that is connected to a tube. They "poke" each follicle and "suck out" the egg (very technical description), which goes into a test tube and is then brought to the lab to be fertilized by the sperm; that process is called ICSI. During ICSI, they take one sperm and remove the tail (so it won't harm the egg) and inject it into the egg, thus fertilization occurs.
The procedure was only about twenty minutes, but could've been an hour for all I know, I was sound asleep. Unfortunately I woke up with some sharp pains but nothing a little pain meds via IV can't fix. Once I was able to get some crackers and juice down, it was time to go home and rest. I had great support from a Fertility Friend who was my chauffeur and my support, since my hubby had to work and couldn't be there. She dealt with my nausea the whole car ride home, but got me in my house, on the couch and made sure I was comfortable before she left. I owe her! I don't do well with anesthesia on an empty stomach so I did get a bit sick after she left, but slept it off the rest of the afternoon and felt much better by early evening.
I wish I had more to tell, but at this time I don't know how many eggs were retrieved and how many were mature and made it to fertilization. Just need some patience as I'll find out in a few days when our transfer is and how many embryos we have.
Heading to bed and thinking about all the little embryos we have growing right now...just waiting for a nice warm, comfy spot in my belly.
Retrieval Day!! A bit scared, anxious, nervous and definitely excited as this is one step closer!
The hardest part is the lack of food and water. Since I'll be under anesthesia, I couldn't eat/drink after midnight. No fun. There were five retrievals today, including mine, so the clinic was definitely busy. However, I love the staff and they made me feel totally comfortable and as relaxed as possible. The anesthesiologist was the nicest woman and we had a fun little chat. She reviewed what meds I'd be having for my "little nap" and one of them was Propofol, which I'm sure you've all heard of since that was the drug that killed Michael Jackson. So I had to ask the nurse if she got questioned by other patients about using that drug and of course she did. So we chatted about how unethical it was for someone to be treating Jackson with such a strong drug outside of a clinic setting and constant monitoring. I knew I was in good hands so didn't bother me in the least what she was giving me. Plus I was starting to get a bit nervous, so perfect timing for a drug-induced nap.
For a refresher, the retrieval is when they go in through the vaginal wall and then go into the ovary with a tiny needle that is connected to a tube. They "poke" each follicle and "suck out" the egg (very technical description), which goes into a test tube and is then brought to the lab to be fertilized by the sperm; that process is called ICSI. During ICSI, they take one sperm and remove the tail (so it won't harm the egg) and inject it into the egg, thus fertilization occurs.
The procedure was only about twenty minutes, but could've been an hour for all I know, I was sound asleep. Unfortunately I woke up with some sharp pains but nothing a little pain meds via IV can't fix. Once I was able to get some crackers and juice down, it was time to go home and rest. I had great support from a Fertility Friend who was my chauffeur and my support, since my hubby had to work and couldn't be there. She dealt with my nausea the whole car ride home, but got me in my house, on the couch and made sure I was comfortable before she left. I owe her! I don't do well with anesthesia on an empty stomach so I did get a bit sick after she left, but slept it off the rest of the afternoon and felt much better by early evening.
I wish I had more to tell, but at this time I don't know how many eggs were retrieved and how many were mature and made it to fertilization. Just need some patience as I'll find out in a few days when our transfer is and how many embryos we have.
Heading to bed and thinking about all the little embryos we have growing right now...just waiting for a nice warm, comfy spot in my belly.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Cycle One Journal
Saturday, Oct 29th
Today was first day of injections. Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed and anxious. I woke up around 6am thinking about it and after lying in bed awake for a few more hours, decided I might as well get up and give it a shot, literally.
Good thing I had extra saline and needles as I went through a few trying to remember how to mix my meds. And good thing I found the step-by-step instructions cause it really wasn't that hard once I figured it out. I can totally do this!
Monday, Oct 31st
Bloodwork today. I must be responding well as they've dialed down my injection doses a bit. Starting to feel bloated and pressure in my lower abdomen but all is going well so far and I'm now becoming a pro at injections (not sure if this is a good thing though!).
Wednesday, Nov 2nd
Bloodwork and ultrasound today. Good thing I don't mind needles or getting my blood drawn since it seems my veins hide when I get to the clinic for bloodwork now, so a few attempts were needed this time. The ultrasound showed seven measurable follicles in the right ovary and three in the left with many smaller ones in each. I'm feeling good with ten follicles. But now we're also adding two more injections in the evening. My belly and I are not excited about this at all. Starting to get really sore from the injections!
The pressure in my lower abdomen is now very...heavy. It's so hard to explain. Each step I take, I can feel it in my ovaries. I swear they must be the size of plums by now! It's definitely uncomfortable and I can see why they don't want you working out. There is no way I could move fast or abruptly so I'm just taking it easy and taking my time so I don't agitate my follicle-filled ovaries.
Friday, Nov 4th
More bloodwork and another ultrasound today. Very good news! My follicles are looking good and will be ready for retrieval on Monday!! Also good news that my injections are almost over, it's becoming painful and not sure how much more my belly can take. Definitely some bruising going on :( I literally dread injection time.
So now I just need to get through the weekend; can't say I've ever wanted Monday to come fast enough!
Today was first day of injections. Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed and anxious. I woke up around 6am thinking about it and after lying in bed awake for a few more hours, decided I might as well get up and give it a shot, literally.
Good thing I had extra saline and needles as I went through a few trying to remember how to mix my meds. And good thing I found the step-by-step instructions cause it really wasn't that hard once I figured it out. I can totally do this!
Monday, Oct 31st
Bloodwork today. I must be responding well as they've dialed down my injection doses a bit. Starting to feel bloated and pressure in my lower abdomen but all is going well so far and I'm now becoming a pro at injections (not sure if this is a good thing though!).
Wednesday, Nov 2nd
Bloodwork and ultrasound today. Good thing I don't mind needles or getting my blood drawn since it seems my veins hide when I get to the clinic for bloodwork now, so a few attempts were needed this time. The ultrasound showed seven measurable follicles in the right ovary and three in the left with many smaller ones in each. I'm feeling good with ten follicles. But now we're also adding two more injections in the evening. My belly and I are not excited about this at all. Starting to get really sore from the injections!
The pressure in my lower abdomen is now very...heavy. It's so hard to explain. Each step I take, I can feel it in my ovaries. I swear they must be the size of plums by now! It's definitely uncomfortable and I can see why they don't want you working out. There is no way I could move fast or abruptly so I'm just taking it easy and taking my time so I don't agitate my follicle-filled ovaries.
Friday, Nov 4th
More bloodwork and another ultrasound today. Very good news! My follicles are looking good and will be ready for retrieval on Monday!! Also good news that my injections are almost over, it's becoming painful and not sure how much more my belly can take. Definitely some bruising going on :( I literally dread injection time.
So now I just need to get through the weekend; can't say I've ever wanted Monday to come fast enough!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Patience
I've learned so much about myself the last few years. I guess it's true, sometimes the worst brings out the best in us.
For those of you that have known me, would probably agree I have many Type A tendencies: ambitious, agressive, controlling, impatient, highly competitive. But hey, it was who I was and it helped me achieve so much of what I wanted in life. But it turns out that no matter what I could do, I still couldn't quite achieve my true dream, my dream of being a mother.
The last few years have put us through more than I ever imagined and that changed who we are. I'll always be ambitious to achieve my goals and perhaps a bit competitive, but I've definitely learned that I can't control everything. In fact, a lot of our lives isn't in our hands or in our control and that can be a hard thing to let go of and accept. Without control, you have no other choice but to learn patience. They come hand-in-hand. And for that, "Patience is the greatest of all virtues" (Cato the Elder, 234 BC - 149 BC).
I've learned to accept and embrace patience and although it's not an easy thing to do, it does make things easier. I don't think I'll ever truly rid myself of being alot like a Type A personality, but now I'd like to think of myself as a nice mix between A and B. At the end of the day, I'm a better person inside and out, and for that, I'm thankful.
For those of you that have known me, would probably agree I have many Type A tendencies: ambitious, agressive, controlling, impatient, highly competitive. But hey, it was who I was and it helped me achieve so much of what I wanted in life. But it turns out that no matter what I could do, I still couldn't quite achieve my true dream, my dream of being a mother.
The last few years have put us through more than I ever imagined and that changed who we are. I'll always be ambitious to achieve my goals and perhaps a bit competitive, but I've definitely learned that I can't control everything. In fact, a lot of our lives isn't in our hands or in our control and that can be a hard thing to let go of and accept. Without control, you have no other choice but to learn patience. They come hand-in-hand. And for that, "Patience is the greatest of all virtues" (Cato the Elder, 234 BC - 149 BC).
I've learned to accept and embrace patience and although it's not an easy thing to do, it does make things easier. I don't think I'll ever truly rid myself of being alot like a Type A personality, but now I'd like to think of myself as a nice mix between A and B. At the end of the day, I'm a better person inside and out, and for that, I'm thankful.
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