The infertility community is one of the strongest, close-knit groups I've ever been involved in and without it, there is no way I would've gotten through some of the hardest times of my life. The only way I can ever give back as much I as received, is by doing what it did for me.
I will ALWAYS support anyone I know or come to know that is dealing with infertility and I will NEVER give up on anyone still struggling.
Infertility doesn't just disappear when you get pregnant, it will stay with me forever. Although we look towards the future with Baby Barrett, we will never forget what we went through to get to this place and always fear that it will happen again when we decide to grow our family.
It's been an unbelievably joyful past four and a half months, but it has also had some difficult times as well. To see my close friends and Fertility Friends still struggling and hurting to have their own miracle, while I'm pregnant with mine, has been heartbreaking. The questions of "why?" are still there, as they deserve this happiness as much as I do.
I'll never know the answers and no matter what I say or do, doesn't change things, but that won't stop me from being the support that they unconditionally gave me when I needed it the most.
I have no doubt that their miracle is coming and I will never give up their fight. And best of all, I know they'll always be there for me as well, no matter what our futures will bring us. Whether some of us have our miracles, adopt our miracles, or choose to life child-free, we'll never forget what we all went through and will continue to deal with, for the rest of our lives.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My Valentine
I can't think of a better way to start Valentine's Day, than by listening to the sound of your baby's heartbeat. That beautiful sound will never get old and soon enough, I'll hear it in the form of Baby B's first cry at birth!
I will always remember this Valentine's Day, a day filled with more love than I had ever imagined. I can recall all the times when I wasn't sure I'd be in this spot, with a healthy baby in my belly, but that heartbeat this morning put the biggest smile on my face.
Everyone had always told me that you'll love your child more than you know. I now truly understand what they mean. Although we still have 5 more months until we meet Baby B, we are already deeply in love with him/her.
Valentine's Day is all about love. Too bad we only truly celebrate this one day out of the year! I can think of a million reasons why it shouldn't take a holiday for someone to reflect on the love they have in their life; it's something not to be taken for granted.
My wish this Valentine's Day is for all of you to take a moment and look around at your life. I guarantee you are surrounded by more love than you know! Love can get you through whatever life throws your way; and it's not always easy but without love in your life, it would be much, much harder. Keep love close and be sure to give as much as you get; others out there may be needing it more than you know.
I will always remember this Valentine's Day, a day filled with more love than I had ever imagined. I can recall all the times when I wasn't sure I'd be in this spot, with a healthy baby in my belly, but that heartbeat this morning put the biggest smile on my face.
Everyone had always told me that you'll love your child more than you know. I now truly understand what they mean. Although we still have 5 more months until we meet Baby B, we are already deeply in love with him/her.
Valentine's Day is all about love. Too bad we only truly celebrate this one day out of the year! I can think of a million reasons why it shouldn't take a holiday for someone to reflect on the love they have in their life; it's something not to be taken for granted.
My wish this Valentine's Day is for all of you to take a moment and look around at your life. I guarantee you are surrounded by more love than you know! Love can get you through whatever life throws your way; and it's not always easy but without love in your life, it would be much, much harder. Keep love close and be sure to give as much as you get; others out there may be needing it more than you know.
No such thing as Worry-Free
I'm sure a lot of you out there that are or were pregnant, had to make the decision on whether or not to do the first trimester screening tests. These tests are done around week 12 and test for Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and 18 as well as Cystic Fibrosis. The tests are done by an ultrasound as well as bloodwork.
It can be a controversial and personal decision, something J and I decided to do based on our conception process. Since we weren't able to conceive on our own naturally and used IVF to "force" conception, we wanted some peace of mind knowing that although it didn't happen on it's own, it wasn't because of chromosomal reasons. There is that risk when doing IVF.
The ultrasound for detecting Downs went great and you probably recall that beautiful ultrasound picture with Baby B's foot in the air. Our bloodwork for Trisomy 13 and 18 also came back great, with our risk being greatly reduced. However, the Cystic Fibrosis test gave us a little scare. It turns out I'm a carrier for CF; that meant Jason needed to be tested to see whether or not he was a carrier as well.
If Jason also tested as a carrier, that would mean our baby would have a 25% chance of having Cystic Fibrosis, a 25% of being a carrier of CF or a 50% chance of being totally healthy and not being a carrier either. The odds were in our favor but the possibility of our baby not being 100% okay definitely made us worry.
I spoke to a lot of my friends when I found out that I was a carrier and since most of my friends are parents themselves, they had some good advice to get me through the waiting period until we found out Jason's results. The best advice I heard will always stick with me. It turns out, now begins Motherhood. And with that, comes A LOT of worrying. I'll pretty much worry every day of my baby's life from here on out and sometimes it'll get a lot worse, and sometimes it'll be easier. Either way, it's forever; I will never stop worrying again. With that motherly advice, I realized I couldn't drive myself crazy worrying about something I could not control, and I was okay with whatever the outcome would be.
We got our results back a little over a week ago and Jason is NOT a carrier. Whew!! It was a big relief to know we no longer had to worry...or I should say, worry about CF. Although we knew that no matter what, this baby is ours and even if something bad had come back, nothing would change, we'd just prepare a bit differently. However, the relief of knowing our chances are little to nothing, was great news to hear.
Now off to worry about the next thing...
Will labor go okay and will Baby B come to this world okay? Will I be able to breastfeed? How will I know Baby B is getting enough to eat? Will I be a good mom? How will I protect my child from harm?
And the worries can (and will) go on and on...
It can be a controversial and personal decision, something J and I decided to do based on our conception process. Since we weren't able to conceive on our own naturally and used IVF to "force" conception, we wanted some peace of mind knowing that although it didn't happen on it's own, it wasn't because of chromosomal reasons. There is that risk when doing IVF.
The ultrasound for detecting Downs went great and you probably recall that beautiful ultrasound picture with Baby B's foot in the air. Our bloodwork for Trisomy 13 and 18 also came back great, with our risk being greatly reduced. However, the Cystic Fibrosis test gave us a little scare. It turns out I'm a carrier for CF; that meant Jason needed to be tested to see whether or not he was a carrier as well.
If Jason also tested as a carrier, that would mean our baby would have a 25% chance of having Cystic Fibrosis, a 25% of being a carrier of CF or a 50% chance of being totally healthy and not being a carrier either. The odds were in our favor but the possibility of our baby not being 100% okay definitely made us worry.
I spoke to a lot of my friends when I found out that I was a carrier and since most of my friends are parents themselves, they had some good advice to get me through the waiting period until we found out Jason's results. The best advice I heard will always stick with me. It turns out, now begins Motherhood. And with that, comes A LOT of worrying. I'll pretty much worry every day of my baby's life from here on out and sometimes it'll get a lot worse, and sometimes it'll be easier. Either way, it's forever; I will never stop worrying again. With that motherly advice, I realized I couldn't drive myself crazy worrying about something I could not control, and I was okay with whatever the outcome would be.
We got our results back a little over a week ago and Jason is NOT a carrier. Whew!! It was a big relief to know we no longer had to worry...or I should say, worry about CF. Although we knew that no matter what, this baby is ours and even if something bad had come back, nothing would change, we'd just prepare a bit differently. However, the relief of knowing our chances are little to nothing, was great news to hear.
Now off to worry about the next thing...
Will labor go okay and will Baby B come to this world okay? Will I be able to breastfeed? How will I know Baby B is getting enough to eat? Will I be a good mom? How will I protect my child from harm?
And the worries can (and will) go on and on...
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Truth About IVF
To follow up on my previous rant on Newt Gingrich's view on IVF, I wanted to share an article that was posted by RESOLVE (my favorite national infertility non-profit) about the truth of IVF and the people going through it.
The Truth About IVF
I really hope that Newt read it and realizes that "this is a medical condition and this (IVF) is medical treatment". Do not take this away from us and further control something that is already being regulated by the FDA and government. This is already unbelievably hard for any couple to go through, don't make it worse!! What gives you the right to control our medical choices?
The Truth About IVF
I really hope that Newt read it and realizes that "this is a medical condition and this (IVF) is medical treatment". Do not take this away from us and further control something that is already being regulated by the FDA and government. This is already unbelievably hard for any couple to go through, don't make it worse!! What gives you the right to control our medical choices?
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