I'm sure a lot of you out there that are or were pregnant, had to make the decision on whether or not to do the first trimester screening tests. These tests are done around week 12 and test for Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and 18 as well as Cystic Fibrosis. The tests are done by an ultrasound as well as bloodwork.
It can be a controversial and personal decision, something J and I decided to do based on our conception process. Since we weren't able to conceive on our own naturally and used IVF to "force" conception, we wanted some peace of mind knowing that although it didn't happen on it's own, it wasn't because of chromosomal reasons. There is that risk when doing IVF.
The ultrasound for detecting Downs went great and you probably recall that beautiful ultrasound picture with Baby B's foot in the air. Our bloodwork for Trisomy 13 and 18 also came back great, with our risk being greatly reduced. However, the Cystic Fibrosis test gave us a little scare. It turns out I'm a carrier for CF; that meant Jason needed to be tested to see whether or not he was a carrier as well.
If Jason also tested as a carrier, that would mean our baby would have a 25% chance of having Cystic Fibrosis, a 25% of being a carrier of CF or a 50% chance of being totally healthy and not being a carrier either. The odds were in our favor but the possibility of our baby not being 100% okay definitely made us worry.
I spoke to a lot of my friends when I found out that I was a carrier and since most of my friends are parents themselves, they had some good advice to get me through the waiting period until we found out Jason's results. The best advice I heard will always stick with me. It turns out, now begins Motherhood. And with that, comes A LOT of worrying. I'll pretty much worry every day of my baby's life from here on out and sometimes it'll get a lot worse, and sometimes it'll be easier. Either way, it's forever; I will never stop worrying again. With that motherly advice, I realized I couldn't drive myself crazy worrying about something I could not control, and I was okay with whatever the outcome would be.
We got our results back a little over a week ago and Jason is NOT a carrier. Whew!! It was a big relief to know we no longer had to worry...or I should say, worry about CF. Although we knew that no matter what, this baby is ours and even if something bad had come back, nothing would change, we'd just prepare a bit differently. However, the relief of knowing our chances are little to nothing, was great news to hear.
Now off to worry about the next thing...
Will labor go okay and will Baby B come to this world okay? Will I be able to breastfeed? How will I know Baby B is getting enough to eat? Will I be a good mom? How will I protect my child from harm?
And the worries can (and will) go on and on...
So many fears! I think so much of those fears comes with the unknown as well. I mean, before we are parents ourselves, we just can't even begin to know what to expect. Does that make sense? anyway, I was so scared and constantly worried about those things you last listed (oh, and we decided not to do the CF screening, and on the day we decided not to, a piece of mail came to our house about donating to some CF society. I was convinced it was a sign. I didn't stop worrying about that for a LONG time!! lol) anyway, I was so worried about the things you listed in the last paragraph, and it turns out, when the baby was born, they were the last thing on my mind.
ReplyDeleteI bet you will be able to breast feed! and you will know that baby b is getting enough because s/he will pee, poop and grow :-)